


Lily

by CDJSam



Category: Deltarune (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Backstory, Bullying, Daddy Issues, Developing Friendships, Domestic Violence, Flashbacks, Friendship, Gang Violence, Grief/Mourning, Hanging Out, Headcanon, Hurt No Comfort, Injury, Loneliness, Loss of Parent(s), Magic, Magical Accidents, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Character Death, Swearing, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23746945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CDJSam/pseuds/CDJSam
Summary: Today went by quite unexpectedly for Susie. She's made a new friend just by feeding her some sob-story about a nonexistent girl named "Lily". Now that she's home alone, she takes the time to reflect on said sob-story, except with her as the protagonist.Also, this is my first fic I've ever written. Please share your thoughts about it. I'd like to know how I'm doing. Thanks!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Reminiscence

**Author's Note:**

> These events take place during another story I am writing on my Instagram account (which is a comic.) My account is @cdjsam. I recommend you check it out to better understand the context of the situation. The specific issue this story's taking place in is Issue 12.

The night had started to fall as Susie unlocked the door to her apartment. She was immediately greeted by the same, messy atmosphere of her abode upon opening the door. With a sigh, she threw off her faded, black shoes and made her way to the kitchen. As usual, there was barely anything to eat, but her mind wasn't focused on eating despite her constant hunger.

She was thinking about what happened earlier today. What happened in that remote area in the forest that she knew so well. What she told Noelle when she asked her to open up. About Lily, the girl she knew so well, because she was merely her of the past. 

“Damn it...” she said to herself as she rummaged through her fridge. “Why couldn't you just tell her the truth? Noelle's a good person, or at least better than you. So why can't you trust her?”

After finding nothing in her fridge but expired food, her tired eyes laid their gaze upon a familiar photo. The photograph was of her and her mother at the same, secret spot in the forest she had visited today. Though this picture had been on the fridge even before her mother's passing, looking at it now hit differently for her. 

Without warning, the memories of her came flooding back, along with the feelings that once stung before. Susie had learned how to block out these memories, yet now, it seemed that the numbness she once had to them was gone. Tears started to well up in her eyes. Overwhelmed by the sudden shock, the young dragon leaned against one of the kitchen counters as she tried to slowly take in the pain. 

Despite the intense despair the blue thoughts triggered, Susie managed to hold back her tears. Now that she felt slightly more calm, she opened her mind to what happened to her. How did her life change from a decent life to this train wreck? 

“Three years ago… That's when my downfall started.”


	2. Decision

It was a warm, yet wet spring afternoon. The sun was peeking through the thin, white clouds, casting light upon the students of the school. The day had just ended and kids were flowing out of the school doors to go back to their homes. Some lingered behind to wait for their parents or the bus to pick them up or to chat with friends they’ve bumped into during the rush. 

One of the students waiting for their escort home was Susie. She stood at the school’s bus stop, apart from the others. Susie was never too much of a fan of small talk, especially around other students she didn’t know too well. So, she distracted herself by counting the graffiti engraved into a nearby bench. As she was pondering upon the initials in a slightly-aged heart-shaped carving, a bus halted in front of them. It seemingly appeared out of nowhere, but perhaps that was because she was a bit spaced out upon its arrival. As it’s doors opened, Susie discreetly budged her way near the front of the line to enter the bus. 

Now inside the toasty bus, the young dragon paid her fare, and settled into a window seat near the back. The vehicle passed straight through the city. Numerous buildings differentiating in height, structure and feeling could be seen out her window. With her shoulder against the wall, her yellow eyes observed the familiar sights. Nothing was different, she noticed. Yet, despite having a phone she could whip out anytime, she decided to keep on gazing at the city.

Ebott was a large city, well known for the famous mountain near it which shared the same name. Despite its magnitude, Susie knew of it’s various areas and could probably find her way around it. The only thing she, and several other people didn’t have much knowledge of were the small towns around it. Those were usually obscure compared to the splendor of Ebott.

As the bus neared the south-eastern part of town, Susie took her bag from her feet. As it stopped at a residential area full of apartments, she leapt off the bus and made her way down the block. Her apartment wasn’t too far from the bus stop. The sun was still high in the sky. A few puddles could be seen on the sides of the road from last night’s showers. Susie was still partially lost in her thoughts as she kept sauntering to her apartment.

At last, the building which she lived in came into view. It was somewhat tall and was made of bricks and cement. She coolly entered the apartment and made her way to her residence. The hallways of the ground level were empty, quiet and mildly unsettling. Perhaps it was due to the significantly low number of occupied rooms at the bottom level. It was just one of those strange phenomenons that every building has. Susie entered an elevator at the bend of the eastern corridor, which had the same, lonely tone as the hallways. After a few awkward seconds, the elevator reached the fourth floor and she exited the lift and went to the door closest to it. As she took out a key from her backpack, she unlocked the door and entered her house.

Now inside, she could hear a familiar voice speaking from the kitchen. Peeking her head around the wall, she saw her mother on the phone speaking to someone. Noticing her presence, her mom waved at her, slightly smiling. Waving back, Susie took a cracker from a nearby cupboard and left for the living room to eat her snack. As she sat at the dining table, she could still hear the discourse continuing from the other room. Though, she ignored it and continued munching on her crackers. 

Soon, just when she was thinking about starting her homework, her mother hung up on her call and headed towards her daughter. Raising her head up from her phone, her gaze met with the tall figure in front of her. Inclining towards her, she decided to chat with her.

“So, how was your day?” she asked in an affectionate tone.

Her daughter replied “Eh. It was okay.”

“Anything special happen?”

“Eh. Kind of…”

Her mother’s eyebrows raised a bit. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, we had our first lesson about magic.” she said casually.

The tall dragon’s eyes broadened a bit. She seated herself beside Susie, looking at her with a now attentive expression. Susie, noticing her sudden gesture, seemed a bit weirded out.

“Why do you look so concerned all of a sudden?” she questioned.

“Oh, uh…” her mother exclaimed. “Well, I’m just a fan of learning magic, y’know.”

Although she was still confused, she did not question her mother’s curiosity. So, she proceeded to look through her phone again. Though, her mother wasn’t leaving yet. Upon realizing this, she put her cell aside once again and looked back at her mom.

Now that her attention was back at her, her mother continued. 

“So...do you mind telling me about your lesson today?”

“Oh, well…” Susie recalled the events again in silence, and continued after a short while.

“So, after lunch, some people came over to our science class. They talked about souls and stuff. They also talked about magic and taught us how to use it.”

“What were you taught?” her mother interrupted.

“Uh…” Susie felt a bit uncomfortable. It was normal of her mother to ask about her day. After all, she was the only other person who her mom could talk to either than her father. But he was usually busy at work and came home at a late time. Yet, her mother wasn’t usually this nosy. 

‘Perhaps she just really liked magic.’ she thought. Though she did have doubts, she still continued.

“Well, they taught us how to gather some of our soul’s energy into our hands. They also passed this rock that glowed when we put some energy into it. It wasn’t much, but I thought it was cool.”

Her mother stayed silent. This time, Susie didn’t pick her phone up again. This was all too strange. 

“So, you liked the lessons?” 

“Oh, yeah.” Susie replied sheepishly. “I thought it was nice. Though, it kinda sucks that it was only a one time thing. I think there’s this course for magic in high school, but I wish they did more stuff like this in middle school.”

“Hmm… Okay.” Her mother said as she got up and left the table. 

Still weirded out, Susie decided to distract herself from the bizarre encounter by continuing her homework. 

‘What was her deal with this?’ she thought. As she read through her binders and answered their questions, she came up with some possibilities of what’ll happen soon. 

‘She’s probably gonna sign me up for magic lessons or something.’ She thought. She didn’t really have any problem with that as long as her mother didn’t do anything too extreme. 

* * *

Soon, the evening came and Susie found herself laying in her bed, still awake. She couldn’t sleep, though it wasn’t because of what happened with her mom earlier. It was just one of those instances where she didn’t feel like sleeping for no reason in particular. She tried closing her eyes when she noticed her parents talking from the living room. She sat up to try and figure out what they were saying. She couldn’t make out a word, but it sounded like they were... arguing? 

It wasn’t uncommon for her parents to squabble sometimes; most of their disputes weren’t that much of a deal anyway and were forgotten almost immediately. Yet this night, she felt a bit more interested in what they were discussing. Perhaps it was because of what happened earlier. So, she threw off her covers, silently opened her bedroom door and peered outside. She could not see her parents, though she could hear them better.

“I thought you wanted to leave that life behind!” she heard her father say. He wasn’t too loud, yet the way he said it was a bit frightening.

“Calm down.” her mother said with some traces of worry present in her voice. “It’s not like I’m gonna do anything bad. Do you really think I’ll teach Susie how to, I dunno, kill someone?”

Susie faintly gasped. So, it was true. She was going to get taught more about magic, except from her mother. It was unexpected that her mother knew how to use magic.; she never really discussed the subject prior to this afternoon. Though she was eager to learn, there was a small feeling of dread inside her. Probably because of that ill-mannered joke she heard.

“It’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” Susie’s mother reassured her husband. “That’s the thing about you. You worry too much. C’mon, you used to be so carefree.”

“That was before.” he retorted. “Now I’ve got two girls to worry about.”

A giggle could be heard. Susie rolled her eyes. The weird thing about her parents was that despite the quarrels they had, they still had the same love for each other as they probably had when they were young. But how would she know? She didn’t even exist back then. Because of them, she shuddered at the thought of being like that one day. 

“Fine, I’ll allow the lessons,” he continued. “But promise me, Catherine, that you’ll keep her safe.”

“Of course!” she replied. “She’s my daughter. Why wouldn’t I?”

After that line, Susie decided that she'd eavesdropped enough. She proceeded to leave quietly as she came. She then flopped back on her bed, more awake than before.

‘Lessons, huh?’ she said to herself. ‘Well, I guess we’ll see how those turn out.’

With a sigh, she closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep with those thoughts still lingering in her mind.

  
  



	3. First Lesson

Susie’s suspicions were correct. Her mother was going to teach her magic. Yet, the experience wasn’t half bad. In fact, it left her jovial.

It started Friday, the same week as the decision. Susie had just come home from school as usual. Her mother was on the couch, looking at her phone. Though, when she entered the house, her mother immediately turned her head towards her direction. Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw Susie standing at the entrance. 

“Hey, Suze!” she called out as she got up from the couch. “Do you have any homework?”

“Uh,” the dragon stuttered as she remembered her parents’ conversation yesterday. “Not really. I finished it all at school. Today wasn’t that busy.”

“Good.” her mother said with a grin. “Now, leave your backpack here. We’re going out.”

‘Yup. She’s definitely gonna do it.’ she thought to herself as she flung her hefty bag into her room. Before leaving her bedroom, she took a striped, zipperless hoodie and put it on as she headed back out the house with her mother.

As Susie’s mom inspected her on the way out, she noted “That’s probably not the best choice for where we’re going. It’s kinda baggy and could…”

Before she could complete her sentence, she shut her mouth and looked away. Susie looked at her with a puzzled expression. ‘Were the lessons going to be dangerous?’ she realized. ‘... Nah. She’s gotta keep you safe, remember?’

As they left the apartment, they embarked onto a bus taking them closer to the outskirts of town. Susie watched as the amount of buildings decreased the further they went; the city was becoming less familiar to her. Finally, they got off at a station near a forest with a trail leading into it. The forest’s trees were densely packed together, casting shadows through the leaves. The brightest areas were near the path in the forest which were still a bit shady. 

As she took in the sight, her mother took her hand and rushed into the forest. She ran fast and her grip on Susie’s hand was fairly loose. So, Susie had to make an effort not to get left behind. Soon, the end of the path started to come into view. Upon reaching the dead end, they stopped running. Susie leaned against one of the trees to catch her breath. She wiped her forehead which was now mildly damp with sweat. Her mother noticed how exhausted she looked.

“Susie, are you okay?” she asked, looking embarrassed.

“Okay? Mom, that was way too fast for me!” Susie blurted out between gasps.

“I thought you were athletic! Isn’t P.E. your favourite subject?”

“Yeah, but… Do you have any idea how fast you were running?”

“Oh gosh… Sorry. Luckily, I brought some water.” 

Her mother reached into a drawstring bag that she brought along and pulled out a plastic bottle. Susie grabbed it, twisted the lid open and took a long swig. She passed the now half-empty bottle back and walked around a bit.

“I guess I may have gotten over-excited. Once again, sorry ‘bout that.” Susie’s mom told her before drinking from the bottle.

While they rested momentarily, Susie surveyed the area. There were still trees everywhere, with the exception of a few bushes. Though, there seemed to be less trees in one direction.

“So, are we here?” the youth asked. “Is this where we’re gonna start the lessons?”

“Not yet. We still need to-” The older dragon paused. “Wait… I never told you what we were doing.”

Susie just remembered that her mother had no idea that she eavesdropped on her parents’ conversation. ‘Shit…’ she thought as she stuttered a bit.

“I, uh… S-so, I was trying to sleep when I… I heard you and dad talking about stuff. And… yeah…”

Silence lingered in the air before it was broken by her mom’s chuckle. She didn’t seem too angry at Susie. Though, she may have just been thinking about her husband’s cheesy flirt from last night.

“Ha ha… Fine. It’s fine.” she responded as she tried to regain her composure. “Anyway, we still have to walk a bit further.”

“Further?” Susie questioned. “But we’re at the end of the trail!”

“We’re taking a shortcut.”

Susie’s eyes widened. “A shortcut?”

“Yep. Besides, it’ll be way brighter there. Don’t you think?”

The monster girl looked up at the sky which could barely be seen due to the thick foliage. Then, she nodded back at her mom in agreement. With an eager look, Susie’s mother waved her arm, gesturing to her to follow her. 

The two walked up to a large bush near a tree marked with an X. Her mother bent down and parted the large bush, revealing that they were actually two bushes. She motioned her to walk through the gap between the shrubs. After they passed the bushes, Susie saw a path of flattened grass. It went through the trees which seemed to decrease in number near this area. The two dragons walked down the path. Susie looked around at the slightly less dense forest and tried here best not to trip on any protruding roots in the path. 

While she was examining the turf, she could see something bright. It seemed like an open area, though she couldn’t be sure. Luckily, she was about to find out since the path was leading towards that bright place. Once they reached the end of the grass trail and squeezed through a few more bushes, they found themselves in a clearing. The sun shone brighter there due to the sudden lack of trees. There was also a log that lay horizontally by the side; it would probably make a great bench. Inside her soul, Susie knew that this was it. This was where her mom wanted to bring her. She stood in awe at the convenience and serenity this clearing brought.

“Here we are.” her mother spoke. “This is what I wanted to show you.”

“Wow,” Susie mumbled, still amazed by this neat place. “This looks so… nice.”

“Y’know, I found this place back when I just moved to Ebott. I was exploring the city, including those obscure towns near it. I just happened to stumble upon this while I was in one of those towns. I could show you later, but now…”

Before finishing, her mom stripped herself of her purple jacket and threw it to the side with her drawstring bag. 

She continued. “ It’s time for your first lesson.”

“Uh, mom?” Susie interrupted. “Should I take my hoodie off, too?”

“Yeah. I mean, if you don’t want it to get burned.”

Susie’s eyes enlarged in alarm. “BURN?!” She shouted.

“AH, fuck! Sorry! I probably should’ve phrased that better!” she quickly reacted. “I-I don’t mean that we’re gonna… Oh gosh, I probably shouldn’t have said that.”

Susie watched as her mother stammered to herself. It was quite obvious she didn’t plan things too thoroughly.

“Err… Maybe you could, uh, do a demo first?” she said as an effort to calm down the situation. “Like, I’d like to know what exactly I’ll be learning.”

“Oh, y-yeah. Sure. You could sit there if you want.”

She pointed at the fallen log. Taking her recommendation, Susie made her way to the log and rested upon it. Despite its ancient appearance, it was quite sturdy. Swiftly, she took off her hoodie and tossed it towards their other belongings.

“So… Magic.” her mom started. “I probably don’t need to introduce it since you already learned it at school. So, as they (hopefully) said, it comes from the soul and can be used to perform different attacks. Though, I bet your instructors didn’t show you what those attacks are like!”

“Attacks? So, we're gonna be, like, fighting or something?”

“Oh no! Your dad would not approve if I made you fight people…” she interjected. “But, I will teach you how to create attacks. However…”

The mauve maiden approached her daughter and leaned over, looking her straight in the eye. Her expression was quite grave.

As her stare pierced through her, she told her clearly. “You must promise me you won't use these attacks against anyone unless someone’s life absolutely depends on it.”

Susie gulped as she whispered “Okay, mom.”

Relieved, her mother sighed. “Good. Now, it's time for the demo.”

She backed up and stood still in the middle of the clearing. The dragon closed her eyes, focusing on channeling the power from her soul. Then, she stretches out her arms and a fireball appears in each hand. She waves her arms around, leaving a trail of fire and fumes behind her limbs. 

Susie watches as her mother twirls and flows around, quite like the tongues of fire coming from her hands. The fire seems to be dancing around her like a silk ribbon. The performance looked absolutely magnificent.

During her movements, she started to explain some more facts about soul magic.

“Dragons are well known for their exceeding capabilities in magic. Their attacks are fire-based and usually offensive. But, I've tried to make a demo that wasn't demonstrating the aggressive nature of these attacks. But not just because it looks nice, but also because it's safer than shooting fireballs everywhere.”

“So, does this mean that dragons can actually breath fire?”

“Yes, we can, but we don’t. Trust me, I’ve tried before and it tastes terrible.”

Upon finishing her explanation, she ended her tricks and let the fire fade away. The air felt warmer after the demonstration. Susie was now very eager to start her lessons.

“I’m actually gonna be learning stuff like that?!” she exclaimed joyously.

“Yeah. More or less.” her mother replied. “But I’ll start teaching that type of stuff next time. Maybe next Monday.”

Susie groaned. She apparently didn’t want to wait to learn something as cool as controlling fire. 

“Please?” she pleaded. “Just one thing? It doesn’t have to be that big.”

Susie’s mom thought, and then finally gave into her request.

She sighed. “Fine… Just one thing.”

Her mother’s hand opened and a small, amber flame emerged from it. Upon summoning the flame, she beckoned her daughter to come closer.

“You're brave, right?”

“Uh, yeah?” she said hesitantly.

“Do that thing where you gathered magic into your hand.”

Susie obeyed. As she channeled her soul’s energy into her hands, she felt them getting warmer. 

Susie’s mom continued. “Good. Now, don’t pull away or stop the flow as I try passing this fire.”

Slowly, their hands came closer together. And like two candles, the fire from the larger hand transferred to the smaller, unlit one in the form of a small wisp. Now in Susie’s hand, the small wisp grew until it was two thirds the size of her mother’s. The two fires flickered beside each other, occasionally intertwining. The blazes emitted warmth and light to their surroundings. The younger dragon was speechless by the flame that hovered above her palm.

“Cool, right?”

“...yeah. Wait, how is my hand not burning?”

“Dragons are naturally fire resistant. Not completely, but the magic is probably helping your hand not catch on fire.”

“Oh…”

“If you want, you can try pulling your hand away.”

She did. The fire continued, though it seemed to be slowly dying down. She started to become a bit distressed as it became smaller and smaller. The unease made her lose some of her focus and the resistance in her hands dropped. The heat on her hands suddenly hurt her, causing her to let go of the fireball in fear.

“Susie!”

Fortunately, the flame quickly died in mid-air due to the lack of magic to fuel it. Although the blaze was gone, Susie still seemed to be jittery by what happened. Her fingers felt burnt, though the only visible damage was some redness to the tips. Also a bit anxious, her mother approached her. She led her to the fallen log, sat her down and placed her arm around her shoulder.

“You okay?” she said soothingly. “If you want to go home now, that’s okay.”

Susie started to tear up a bit. Though, she tried to hold them back, not wanting to seem weak.

“S-sure…” she whimpered. “We can go now…”

The two got up from the log. Susie’s mom picked up their jackets and her bag. She handed the striped hoodie to her daughter and proceeded to put hers on as well. Once they were ready to go, they made their way to the grass path. 

Before leaving, Susie turned around and looked at the clearing again. It seemed less bright now that it was getting late. 

“Suze, you coming?”

“Oh. Y-yeah.”

She turned back to her mother and followed her, knowing she’d come back there soon. 

  
  



	4. Encounter

For many weeks after that, she learned about magic and attacks at that place in the forest. She learned various things such as controlling fire, different types of attacks and how to make magic travel through objects. But no matter what she was taught, she always kept her promise not to use her magic against anyone. Although she wasn’t as skilled as her instructor, she was quite ahead of what she learned at school. 

Her growing skill in magic also showed physically. After several weeks, she started to notice changes in her appearance. As she was gazing at herself in her mirror, she could see that she looked… stronger. Her arms seemed more muscular than before. 

“Oh that?” her mother said when she asked her about it. “Yeah, that happens. Since using magic is kinda like an exercise, that is expected. Don’t worry about it.”

Though she wasn’t ungrateful for her lessons, she still was curious about certain things; those things weren’t about magic, though. She knew she’d learn all she wanted to know about that eventually if she continued her lessons. It was more about her mother. Sometimes, she would reflect upon what her mom showed her. During her demos, she seemed so skilled at magic. The way she controlled those flames, it seemed so impressive. She started to wonder why her mother didn’t try getting a job that involved using magic. 

‘I mean, she seems so passionate about magic.’ she thought. ‘Her lessons are so cool and she’s always in a good mood when she teaches. So, why didn’t she show me her interest before?’

Though like her lessons, she would learn that eventually.

* * *

The lessons went on for weeks. And when Susie was taught what her mother desired to teach her, they continued to go to the forest to practice what she'd learned. One day, they were heading to their spot as usual. As they were getting closer, Susie started to notice something new there. It seemed like the figure of a person. Her mother noticed, too. Upon seeing it though, she seemed unnerved. 

“Shhh!” she hushed, bringing them both aside. 

She held her hand out, showing that she wanted her to stay there. Susie understood and stayed there as her mother inched a bit closer. Upon further inspection of the figure, her mother cursed under her breath. She came back to her daughter as quietly as before. She handed her the things she was bringing, including her purple jacket.

“What’s going on?” Susie whispered.

“Don’t worry. Just stay here and stay quiet.”

As she finished, she turned away and headed towards the clearing. As Susie watched her mother walk away, she got a sick feeling that something bad was going to happen. Worried for her mom, she decided to leave her hiding spot and move to a closer spot to the figure.

Now hiding behind a shrub that entertwined with a tree, Susie peered at who was in the clearing. He looked humanoid, though she could not be sure if he was human. He stood facing away from the center and her mother stood opposite to him, looking straight at him. After some silence, the figure turned, revealing his face. Though, despite it being covered by shadows from his hood, he looked human.

“Catherine? Is that you?” he said warmly. “Gosh, you don’t look a day old.”

“What are you doing here?” the monster replied coldly.

“Did you really expect me not to look for you after you disappeared? You know that we don’t let anyone quit once they know too much.”

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone about you guys. I just want to live in peace. So please, just leave me alone.”

“Sorry, but y’know the boss doesn’t let anyone slip away like this.”

As he finished his sentence, he reached out his hand. Some dark energy accumulated in his hand in the form of a ball. Once formed, a streak instantly shot out from it towards her. She moved out of the way, making it hit a tree. The area it hit withered slightly. The dragon swiftly summoned some attacks of her own, aiming them towards her adversary. He dodged it, seemingly gliding around the clearing. 

As the two sent attacks towards each other, Susie was watching from her hiding spot. She could not believe what she was witnessing. It was a fight between two beings: a cloaked human that seemed very skilled at using magic and her mother, who was also very proficient in magic, though would probably lose against the former. Human souls and their magic were naturally more powerful than monsters’; so, her mother would probably fall before him.

Her worry soon proved to be true. During the intense clash, one of the human’s dark bolts hit Susie’s mother in her torso. A slight crack could be heard as she bent down, clutching her chest. The shady figure approached her as she kneeled down in weakness. Susie held back a cry of concern as she continued to watch.

“Heh… You’ve learned well from me.” he said, looming over her. “But you still could not beat me.”

Susie noticed some shadows gathering in his hand. He raised it, a ball of darkness forming in it. A feeling of fear spread through her mind.

‘He’s gonna kill her.’ she thought.

Quickly reacting, she stepped out of her hiding spot and shot a steak of fire at him. It hit his arm, causing them to recoil from her mother. As he held his arm, he looked away from her and spotted Susie. In anger, he prepared another attack. Before he could though, her mother let out a roar. Fire blazed from her mouth, engulfing the figure in front of her. He fell to the floor and writhed in pain for a while as he burned before becoming still. When he did, her mother dismissed the fire with a wave of her hand as she tried to get up. Susie ran to her mother’s side to support her. 

She could hear her muttering to herself. “God, that was disgusting…”

The two gazed at the charred human on the floor. His hood had burned away, revealing his face. It was disfigured from the burns he received. Despite the immense damage to his body, he was still alive and breathing, though barely. With the very little force he had left, the human opened his mouth and let a few words slip from his mouth.

“I guess… you did beat me… Well, that’s fine. My job here is already done anyway…”

And after those few words, he expired.

The two stood in silence. Susie’s mother seemed tired from the battle and the hit she took. Still letting her lean against her, Susie brought her to the log to rest. Her mother sat down, slouching over while she tried to catch her breath. At last, Susie broke the silence.

“Are you okay, mom?”

“I… I’m actually not sure” she replied with a quiet laugh, which despite being an effort to lighten the mood, still left them both worried.

  
  



	5. Consequence

Though her mom tried to stay light hearted on the way back, Susie could tell she wasn’t doing well. She still seemed short of breath after a while and she would occasionally wince as if she was still in pain. When they got back home, her mother collapsed onto the couch, still seeming exhausted. Susie decided to stay in the living room to monitor her mom.

Sitting at their table, she tried to distract her worries by looking through her assignments. Though, this did not prevent her from occasionally glancing at her mother who still lay on the couch. Unfortunately, her condition only seemed to worsen. Eventually, Susie heard her call out to her after some minutes.

“Susie…” she said a bit forcefully.

She turned from her science manual to her mother. She was curled up on the couch, holding the area she was hit from before. 

“Mom?”

“Call 911.” her mother said, her voice sounding strained.

Susie pushed her chair away and picked up her phone. As she waited impatiently for someone to pick up, various anxieties rushed through her mind. 

'Is mom gonna die? Is this that guy’s fault? Wait, who was that guy anyway? Maybe I could try asking her?’

At last, someone picked up. “Hello, 911. What's your emergency?”

As she gave information to the dispatcher, she decided that she had to ask her mom about this later. She was there when that human and her mother were fighting. She thought she deserved to know.

“Okay, we'll send some paramedics. Expect someone arriving in 15 minutes.” they said before she thanked them and hung up.

‘15 minutes will probably be enough time to ask her my questions.’ she thought.

After making another phone call to her father and slipping her phone back into her backpack, she looked back at her mother who was still conscious, but still in pain. It was an unsettling sight for her. Susie wondered if she was still strong enough to talk. She stepped carefully towards her and placed herself on the arm of the couch, just at her mother’s feet. Her labored breathing could be heard and her eyes were staring out as if she was focused on something. Feeling uncomfortable, Susie tried to ease the tension by starting a conversation.

“So, uh…” she began timidly. “How do you feel?”

“Feel?” she managed to say. “I-I don’t know what getting a heart attack is like, but… I think it’s that…”

“Well… I wanted to ask you…” Susie hesitated, before finishing her sentence. “Did you know that guy from earlier?”

“You mean… the guy I was fighting w-!” She let out a groan, bending over again before slowly turning her head to Susie again.

“I didn’t want to tell you this, Suze, but I don’t think I’ll make it. So… I’ll answer your questions.”

‘I don’t think I’ll make it.’ The phrase echoed in Susie’s mind, causing those sick feelings in her to increase. 

Her mother went on. “Before I moved to Ebott, I was part of this group. I don’t want to call it a gang… But yeah, it was a gang. I was mostly in it to get money for my tuition, but I did get to know some people. That guy was one of them.”

Before speaking again, she shifted her position so she could face her daughter. Her hand was still placed over where her soul would be, but her eyes looked at her listener.

“He taught me all the stuff I taught you. Not gonna lie, he was cool…” she paused for a bit, probably due to the pain, before continuing. “But soon, my mom found out about what I was doing. When she kicked me out, I felt so much regret. I just… wanted to leave. Start anew. So, I left my town without telling anyone and looked for somewhere else to… to stay. I had to travel a lot before finally settling in Ebott. I actually slept in that empty clearing we went to a few times. Don’t worry, I soon rented an apartment to stay in after some days and…”

Her mother stopped to breathe, then went on. “Life was normal after that. I even got married and stuff…”

A brief silence filled the room before she continued to speak. “Yet, here we are... I’m gonna die and-”

“No!” another pause followed after that.

Susie was already trying to avoid that persistent thought and the mention of it did not help. 

“I just… Please don’t say that.” she could feel her eyes watering again.

Her mother sighed “Sorry, I just… Susie, this pain isn’t getting any better. Hell, it’s been hard just talking. I-I really don’t want to lie to you. Trust me, that guy’s powerful. He can do some crazy shit to people… Now that I think of it, we probably shouldn’t have left his body in the woods.”

“Does… Does dad know about this?” Susie wiped some tears away.

“Yes, I told him. That’s partially why he was against our magic lessons at first. But, you wouldn’t hurt anyone with your powers. You’re a good girl. I know that.”

After saying that, she rested her head again on the couch’s other arm and stared at the ceiling. Susie kept her eyes on her as she contemplated what she heard. 

‘Gang… Magic… Death… No. Not that.’

A knock on the door startled her. She jerked her head to the door, and turned back to her mom to check on her. She was still alive, still breathing, but also still in poor condition. Susie rushed to the door and opened it. The paramedics were standing outside. She let them in while they asked her questions about how her mother was. She answered them shyly, trailing behind them as they did their work. They soon left with her mother. Susie decided to stay at home so she could wait for her father. Once the door closed, she lazed back to the couch, where her mother lay not so long ago. She sat there, letting the heavy minutes pass by.

* * *

The two dragon monsters stayed near the ward where Susie’s mother was expected to be. It was late at night since her father arrived home when it was already dark. The ward they waited in was plain, nothing too extraordinary. Yet, Susie still had a bad feeling about the place. Perhaps it wasn’t the room, but the dreadful wait for the news about her mother. She sat on one of the many chairs, tapping her foot and waiting for the doctor’s word.

Soon, they were called to hear what they had to say about her mother’s condition. Susie, her dad and a doctor entered a room filled with many beds separated by blue curtains. The doctor escorted them to the bed where her mother lay. She was still awake. A soul monitor was hooked up to her for some reason, one that they would find out soon. Susie sat at a chair near the bed as her father talked with the doctor.

“Mom! A-are you okay?” she asked, feeling a bit nervous.

Her mother spoke in a weak voice “Kind of... I don’t feel as bad as before, but more tired now…”

“Do you… know what’s wrong with you?”

She turned away from her, a look of woe in her eyes. Susie could tell that her mother was right when she said she was dying. She moved her hand towards Susie’s. Their fingers interlocked and tightened.

“The doctors said that my soul was… cracked. They expect me to fall down soon, probably overnight. I’m sorry…”

Susie didn’t know what to think. This was still hard for her to take in. That guy, the lessons, her mother who was dying, it was a lot. She always tried to act strong when something bad happened, but this time, she didn’t try to hold her feelings back. Tears trickled down her face slowly, then increased all of a sudden. She could feel her mother stroking her hand with her thumb.

“It’s okay to cry. I understand why you feel this way. You wouldn’t expect someone you know to be a gang member. Or, at least used to be… But I’m really sorry for dragging you into this.”

She turned back towards Susie. Her eyes seemed to be watery as well, but now tears fell as if she had already accepted her fate. After all, there wasn’t anything that could fix her then.

“Just, please try not to do anything like that. Don’t misuse your magic or anything like that… All I want for you is to end up living a good life that’s not anything like mine was.”

As she was looking at her, Susie’s sobs seemed to intensify. She felt ashamed of making such a ruckus in a generally quiet place, but she couldn’t help it. 

“Don’t worry. I know you’re a good girl. You wouldn’t do that…”

At that moment, she paused and dozed off for a while. While she was spaced out, Susie wiped her tears from her face, making her sleeve surprisingly damp. Soon, she snapped back to Susie’s relief. 

‘Thank God she didn’t just slip into a coma right then.’ she thought, relieved but still sorrowful.

“I… really don’t know what to say anymore. I just… you know I love you and…”

She sighed and looked up to the ceiling. She wasn’t spaced out, but she did seem to still have some thoughts on her mind. Susie remained seated, not knowing what to say either. Her despair had not gone away completely, but she didn’t feel like crying anymore. So, they just stayed in silence. Both of them didn’t know what life would throw at them next. 

After about half an hour of silence with only the occasional exchange of words, Susie had to return to her home since it was nearing midnight. Though she wasn’t doing much with her mother, she didn’t want to leave. She couldn’t bear not being there for her mother’s last waking moments. The thought of her mom having to fall without any of her loved ones around made her feel like she was going to burst into tears uncontrollably again.

“Susie.”

She turned around to her mother who got her attention. She urged her to come closer. As she approached her, she sat up and held her in her arms. Susie felt alarmed by the sudden action. Her mother wasn’t really the physical type. So, this was a surprise to her. She also wasn’t sure if she was allowed to sit up like that, let alone hug someone. But she went along with it. They embraced for a few tender seconds before her mom sent her off with a peck on the cheek. 

Her father took her by the hand and led her out of the room. Before they exited the room made of curtains, Susie turned around and got one last look of her mother in her waking moments. Her mother lay in her slightly inclined deathbed, watching her family leave with tired, yet loving eyes. As they left her sight, she rested her head again, hoping for the best for them.

• • • • •

When they got home, Susie’s dad left again to keep her mother company. She found this unfair since she wouldn’t be going to school tomorrow and yet she couldn’t stay at the hospital for the night. As he left, she left to her room and slumped into her bed fully clothed. She didn’t feel like changing now, but she didn’t feel like sleeping either. Frustrated and upset, she just lay there and let the events of the day sink into her mind.

‘Your mom’s dead.’ she told herself. ‘No more crying. Just accept it.’

As she was brooding, she remembered some things her mother told her.

“You know I love you.” “I’m sorry.” “I know you’re a good girl.”

Good girl… Looking back to the present day, that phrase did not age well for her.

  
  



	6. Aftermath

2:37 am. That’s when her mother fell down according to the doctor. Susie couldn’t be there for her, and this fact really made her feel dismal for the rest of the week. In fact, the sombre feeling never really died down for her. It just faded to the corners of her mind and would only re-emerge when she thought about her death. Though, no one ever got to see that depressed side of her since she got a day off to partially recover and recompose. Her father also stayed home, but he spent a large portion of the day shut inside his office. 

Whenever they had time, she and her father would go to the hospital to check on Susie’s mom. She had been moved to a different ward for other patients who had fallen down. When they would visit, the ward always gave off a sinister vibe, similar to that floor in her apartment. The place had a faint smell of the dust of those who had passed away. It would only be a few weeks before her mother would join those victims. Susie made sure she’d be there for her when that happens. 

Life at home was very silent the next few days, apart from the TV that Susie would watch to try and distract herself from her woes. She was just channel hopping one day when she landed on the news station, which showed a familiar face. She quickly refrained from clicking off to get a better look at what was on screen.

The reporter was talking about a “gang related incident near a local suburb”. A picture of her mom, that area in the forest and an interview of the doctor she saw at the hospital displayed on screen. That doctor must have overheard their conversation and reported it. It made sense why he would do it; gang-related incidents are pretty serious. But it still offended her a bit for some reason. Probably because no one bothered to get her side on the incident, but that could’ve been because they didn’t know she was involved.

The reporter’s voice overlapped the slideshow. “Police came to the conclusion that the two fought each other, leaving one burned alive and the other in the hospital. It is uncertain why the battle arose, but it is certain that it left both of them with fatal damage.”

No details were shared about the guy she saw before, probably because his charred body couldn’t be identified by the forensics. They couldn’t even trace down where he came from since all his belongings were damaged as well. It seemed pretty unfair to her since she knows he started the fight, yet the news reporters didn’t really pin the blame on him. After all, the evidence that was left did make him seem like the victim. 

‘But he wasn’t the victim. This isn’t her fault. I think…’ she reminded herself as she shut off the TV. ‘That’s enough for today.’

* * *

Through her emotional conflicts, Susie still had to go to school, which may have only made her more stressed. Though, it wasn’t the homework that was the problem. She may have had problems focusing on her work, but they didn’t seriously trouble her. What really made things harder were other people there.

Prior to the incident, she was considered a loner. She wasn’t mean or bitter to others, but she didn’t try to interact with them much. They returned the favor by leaving her alone, too. She only knew a few friends and only hung out with one of them during breaks. Though after news spread about her mother’s death, everyone seemed to notice her more. Some expressed their condolences and others just stared at her. She wasn’t sure if they were thinking that her mom was a killer or that she was killed. Either way, the extra attention still bothered her.

During lunch, she brought the subject up to her friend, Lucy.

“Have you noticed how people look at me?” she questioned.

Her friend glanced at her from her food. “What do you mean?”

“Like, more people acknowledge I exist or something. People I never knew before are all of a sudden saying stuff to me. Not bad stuff. More like comforting stuff about what happened with my mom.”

“And that’s a problem?” she laughed a bit. “Honestly, I’d be happy if people started being nicer to me.”

“Yeah but… It honestly feels a little insincere. Like, they’re saying ‘sorry’ and stuff because they feel obligated to. Like if they don’t, they’re being a jerk. I mean, I don’t even know half of those people!”

“...Okay, that might be true… But I definitely care about you for real. And I bet there are others who do, too. So for now, maybe you should try to cherish their concern for you because they might actually care. Besides, it’ll probably go away soon. People are like that.”

Susie sighed. “I guess you’re right.”

The two moved on from the topic and moved to another one as they continued eating. Susie really looked up to Lucy. Despite being a sort-of loner, she was still a good friend. She was honest, funny, confident and could probably become popular if she tried. Yet, she was sort of lazy, which is probably why she spends her extra time sitting in the halls with her instead of going to a club meeting somewhere. She has potential to be great, yet she squanders it because she doesn’t want extra responsibility, kind of like Susie. That’s probably why they were friends. They were just two kids who wanted to do nothing together.

During the chatter, Lucy asked something. “Susie?”

“Yeah?”

“I just remembered something I wanted to tell you. It’s kind of bad, but I thought I needed to let you know.”

“What is it?” Susie replied, now a little nervous.

“So, there was this rumor that started about you. I think it had something to do with you being… part of a gang.”

Shocked by the statement, Susie jerked her head towards Lucy. She gazed at her in disbelief, yet the look on her face told her she was telling the truth. After all, she was a very honest person.

Still dismayed, she responded in a slightly agitated tone. “You know that’s bullshit, Lucy.”

“Of course I know!” she exclaimed back. “But apparently, others don’t. It’s honestly ridiculous.”

“Do you think the people who were staring at me in the halls were thinking that?”

Lucy paused and pondered. “Maybe.” she finally answered with a shrug.

Susie sighed and buried her snout in her hands. “God, this is terrible.”

“It sounds terrible. But, like... If you need anyone to talk to, I’m here.”

Raising her head again, Susie showed her a small smile. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” she replied before being interrupted by the bell.

The two adolescents stood up and waved goodbye before going their separate ways. Upon turning away, Susie continued to think about that rumor that was spreading. She scoffed, thinking about how ludicrous it sounded. But the rumor could always spread. People can believe anything sometimes. Uncertain of what is to come, she hung her head down and tried to find hope for herself. 

  
  



	7. Rumble

The sympathy towards Susie’s loss lasted for about a week before it faded away. Though, something else did arise instead. 

It seemed that many people started to pick up on the rumour that she was part of a gang. And they started to believe it, too. Some teachers tried to talk to her about it. When asked, she denied their claims and barely gave them details to the truth. She didn’t feel comfortable sharing them yet, especially to adults she barely knew. They respected her privacy, but she could tell that the lack of information made them skeptical of her.

“Absolutely outrageous.” was what she vented to Lucy one day. “I mean, why don’t those students actually try asking me about the situation instead of believing some stupid rumour? I mean, everyone seemed open to talking to me before. Why stop now?”

“They’re probably scared of you.” Lucy replied. “Just saying. You weren’t really social before what happened. So when news got around about your mom, people probably assumed you were doing shady things, too.”

“But she quit that gang, like, before I was born! I even asked dad about it and he said it’s true!”

“But they don’t know that. And they probably won’t ever if you don’t tell them.”

“Do you think I didn’t try that? I have, but they always ignore me when I come near them, even straight up walking away from me! I just...”

Stopping her rant, she growled in frustration. “I-I’m sorry. You probably don’t want to hear this.”

“No, it’s fine! Remember, I told you I’m fine if you need to talk.”

“Oh right…” she replied awkwardly.

The two spent the rest of their break in silence. 

* * *

The next day, Lucy didn’t come. She texted her later that morning, telling her she was sick and would return next week. Though Susie was used to being alone sometimes, she felt a bit disappointed. Not only did she listen to her when she needed to talk, but she also made sure no one would try shaming her for what they thought was true about her. 

Now that more people were starting to think Susie was a bad person, they’d try to confront her about it, but not usually with good intentions. When they did, Lucy would be there to try and shoo them away. She’d only have to give them a disapproving look and then they’d immediately turn away. It was simple, yet strangely effective. 

Usually, a nasty look from a normal person wouldn’t do much, but Lucy wasn’t normal. It was hard to understand what she was, perhaps a hybrid of two types of monsters or even of a human and a monster. Hybrids were a taboo subject during the time and still are. Her confusing identity was probably why others would seldom interact with her. But she tried her best to make a good impression on others despite being looked down on.

Without Lucy, Susie found herself being alone during her breaks. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to invite her other friends to join her since she hadn’t really come into contact with them lately. Perhaps they were having doubts about her, too. But she didn’t want to sit alone in the hallways either. Being in one place would make the perfect opportunity for conflict. So during the lunch break, she took her things from her locker and decided to walk outside.

The weather was cloudy, but it was not wet. A breeze came from the east, sending a chill down her spine. 

‘Probably should’ve brought a jacket...’ she thought as she dug her hands into her pockets.

Behind the school was a large field where the school’s teams would practice. She decided to walk around it. She watched as some other students gathered there to hang out as well. Some were sitting on the grass and chatting. Another group brought a ball and were bumping it around. One of the trees surrounding the field had a student in it’s branches. Susie thought climbing one as well would be a good idea. Though, her weight would probably break a branch. Besides, doing anything weird like that would most likely raise more suspicion about her. So, she just continued her lonely stroll.

After two laps around the field, Susie decided to do a lap around the school before heading back inside. The bell would ring again soon. She turned from the path surrounding the field and started to walk around the school. She looked through the various windows to see the different classes. A few were occupied by clubs holding their meeting, and the rest were either empty or only had one teacher inside. Nothing exciting.

As she made her way around a corner, she was caught sight of by a group of people. Their sudden appearance made her jump out of her skin. They looked older than the students at her school, but they weren’t exactly adults. They might have been former students or maybe the high schoolers from across the block. But what was sure was that they weren’t supposed to be there. She tried to walk the other way, but then one of them called to her.

“HEY!” he shouted roughly. “Aren’t you that gangster everyone’s talking about?”

Her posture stiffened in surprise. Shyly, she turned around and nodded her head. The group of youths turned to each other and whispered some things among them. As they talked, she took her time to observe them. There were six of them. There were four monsters and two humans. One of the monsters was a girl who didn’t seem to care much for their conversation. Before Susie could slowly inch away, one of the humans got closer to her and asked her a question with a smirk.

“Is it true that you guys are good at fighting?”

Susie had a feeling she knew where this encounter was going. She tried to run, but he took her hand. The guy was about the same height as her and perhaps the same strength as her. He threw her back towards his pals, who surrounded her. It was just her and that human in the middle of the entourage. The cramped and pressuring situation made her feel like she was in a boxing ring. Or even like they were recreating that incident in the woods.

“So, let’s see how you fight.” he said, holding his fists up.

This all felt very unsettling. She wasn’t sure if they were trying to help her or hurt her. Either way, she imitated him and held her hands up as well. This time, she wouldn’t lose like before.

The rumble was a blur. She recalled being hit by him a few times, but she also remembered throwing even more punches back at him. She felt heat, energy and pain pulsing through her body. It wasn't an easy battle, but luckily, those times of training in the woods paid off. She managed to lay a strong hit on his cheek, causing him to fall to the ground. Everyone was silent for a moment. He was down. She had won. Though she didn’t show it, he felt a feeling of relief and even pride.

Unfortunately, the glory didn’t last long. Before she knew it, one of the bystanders laid a strong slap on her back. She stumbled forward clumsily, trying to regain her balance before she was struck down by another hit. Her body hit the floor, the force making her head spin. As she was down, the group bombarded her with more punches and kicks. Each strike felt like bullets being shot at her. As she was being beaten incessantly, her eyes met with the human who she had just knocked out a while ago. He stood up, giving her a grim look. He didn't stop the beating, but he didn't join either, as if he was shaken by her fighting before. After some time, he finally intervened and said that was enough. Bummed about having to stop, the crowd left and Susie was left on the floor to wallow in pain, both physically and emotionally. 

For once in a while, she felt like she had accomplished something, yet it was immediately taken from her. The feeling destroyed her, but she tried not to cry despite the immense pain. She turned to her front, still coughing because of the hard blows to her back, and looked up at the sky. It was still cloudy and it started to get a bit colder. Her heavy breaths were cut off by the piercing bell. She didn’t feel like getting up. She especially didn’t feel like going back to class. She could, but she strongly desired against it. Her bruises wouldn't help her in making herself seem less like a freak.

‘Not like this.’ she thought as her heavy eyes wandered across the grey sky.

  
  



	8. Gone

After the rumble, she ended up going back to class anyway. Her late arrival and her beaten appearance turned a lot of heads. Even the teacher seemed concerned. Susie knew this would definitely make people hate her more. She tried not to pay them mind.

‘Who cares what they think?’ she told herself. ‘You didn’t before. You shouldn’t now. Just ignore it.’

The school day finally ended after what seemed like too long. As she stood at the bus stop, she could hear the chatter of the cliques as usual. But this time, she couldn’t block their words out. She could hear them whispering her name, guessing how she got her injuries and trying not to make it obvious that they were staring at her. But she noticed them for sure, and their attention felt crushing, like someone was sitting on her chest. She repeated to herself not to care about it as she got on the bus and rode home.

Once home, she headed to the washroom and examined herself in the mirror. She had no scratches on her, but her arms and legs were covered in dark bruises. Wearing a T-shirt that day did not help in hiding them. Upon taking it off, she saw that her back also had some bruises, mostly near the upper part. The cold air of the washroom made her shiver as she observed the new, battered person standing before her in the mirror. It really unnerved her that this was what she looked like.

‘I should probably get a jacket next time.’ she thought as she put her shirt back on.

When she exited the room, she noticed that her father was not home. She could tell by his office door which was wide open, revealing an empty room. There was a note on the table, though. 

It said “I went to the hospital. You can come, too when you’re done your homework. -Dad”

Egare to go, she decided to get her homework done in a hurry. She flipped through her books, quickly filled in her notes and got her assignments done in under 15 minutes. Stuffing her belongings into her bag, she took a jacket and sprung out the door. She didn’t know why she was going so fast. She just had a feeling that she needed to hurry. 

As she bolted to the bus stop, she realized something. What she was wearing wasn’t her usual striped hoodie. It was her mom’s jacket, the purple one that she wore almost every time she left the house. 

‘I must’ve taken it by accident.’ she thought.

After her mom fell down, her and her dad didn’t know what to do with her stuff. So, they just left it where it was and never touched it. They didn’t even bother organizing her belongings. Her jacket was a gift from one of the neighbors when she moved into her husband’s apartment. She wore it often whenever she left the house. It was very special to her. For a moment, Susie considered going back to her apartment to return it. Though, she was in a hurry and going back would only waste more time. Besides, she could see the bus she needed to take nearing the stop. So, she decided to keep it with her for now. 

The bus came and she stepped on to it. The rush she was in made the ride seem slower. She couldn’t help but think about her parents. Would her mother still be there? What would her dad think if he saw her wearing her mom’s jacket? He wasn’t exactly taking her passing well, and seeing her with his wife’s jacket could upset him more. He wasn’t the strongest person when conflicts happened.

After several painstaking minutes, her ride pulled up near the hospital. Without hesitation, she sped out the door and hurried into the building. After checking into the ward her mother was staying, she entered her room. Her heart fell when she saw her dad kneeling down at her empty bed. 

She was finally gone, and Susie wasn’t able to see her leave again. 

Quietly, she approached her father who still hadn’t noticed her. She kneeled down beside him to get his attention. She noticed he was softly weeping. As she placed herself next to him, he finally realized her presence and upon seeing her, he flinched. A moment of silence was shared among them both before he pulled her into his arms. She felt his weight on her shoulders as he hugged her. She proceeded to do the same. She felt herself crying again, but she didn’t care. It was much needed after what had happened.

Susie and her dad stayed in the room for a few more minutes before a doctor came in, talked with her father for a bit and then asked them to leave. When they exited the building, they both sat in her dad’s car for a few more minutes. They were still in shock about what happened. They both knew that this would come eventually, but they didn’t realize how much it would hurt when it happened.

After getting dinner at a local sandwich diner, the two rode home. The two stayed silent. None of the two exchanged words. Not about her mother’s passing, not about the fact she was wearing her jacket, not about the fight she got into earlier. Nothing.

The sun was setting and the streetlights were turning on one by one. The city lights and the stars lit up the twilight sky. The beautiful sight outside contrasted from the coldness and gloom the two were feeling. Once at home, her father sneaked back into his office and proceeded to isolate himself as usual, without saying a word.

Susie had no problem with that. She didn’t want to talk either. She simply slinked back into her room and dropped onto her bed. As she was hunched over, her gaze was focused on the floor. Hopeless, she knew that things would only go downhill from there. Despite the melancholy, she didn’t feel like crying. She just felt numb.

* * *

“Now that I think about it, how did that numbness go away?” she wondered as she snapped back to reality.

She was able to tune out that grief because she stopped caring. But now, things have changed. Was it because of Kris and how they made her feel safe again, only to let her down again by disappearing?

“No, it’s not Kris’s fault for disappearing.” she reminded herself “ Though, it wouldn’t be strange of someone to run away because they don’t want to see me. I’m used to that, and they...”

Getting up from leaning against the counter, she reassured herself. “No. Kris is different. If they hated me, they wouldn’t have saved me when the King was fighting us… They saved me…”

She sighed. She shouldn’t just be standing in her kitchen. She’d look stupid if her dad saw her like that. She got up, but before leaving, she remembered something. Kris may have shown her kindness, but they weren’t the only one. Noelle did too today. In fact, her actions were more direct and sudden than theirs. She even gave her advice on how to change. 

“You should let him know something’s wrong.” she told her (though indirectly since she thought the advice was for “Lily”.)

So, she took her advice to heart. She got a nearby pen and a note card and wrote down a message to her father.

“Dear dad, there’s no more food to eat in the fridge. Please get more - Susie”

Feeling a little more satisfied, she left the kitchen, hoping things would be different with Noelle.

  
  



	9. Fear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic lives! Yeah, after a hella long time, I can't believe I'd finally come back to this fan fiction. Well, I'll probably talk more in the notes at the end.

It was 8:45pm. Susie didn’t usually go to bed this early, but she felt like she needed it, especially after the roller coaster of a day she had. The street lights shone through the window, giving the room a soft glow. Now that things were calm, Susie continued to ponder upon her past. Though it would probably prevent her from sleeping, she proceeded to search where she left off from her flashbacks.

* * *

As Susie had predicted, things did worsen throughout the year. The fight definitely got people’s attention, though, they didn’t seem scared of her anymore. Instead, they seemed resentful. Many people would try to agitate her, hoping to cause a ruckus for no good reason. But their ill actions usually failed at doing so. They may have made Susie feel really distressed, but they never made her snap at them. At least not at first. 

One day, several weeks after the incident of the fight, when she was feeling particularly agitable, she finally snapped back at someone. While she was walking down a stairwell, a random student gave them a taunting shove. As they snickered at her almost tripping over, she returned the push, though significantly harder. The shove caused the student to topple backwards and hit their arm on a side handle. They weren’t seriously hurt, perhaps only bruised, but their cry of pain did get some people’s attention. 

At that moment, the student’s shout seemed to remind her of something. It was that feeling she felt when she was fighting with that human before. That feeling of being strong… untouchable… feared.

As the student in front of her got back on their feet steadily, she growled back at them. 

“Hey.” she harshly shot at them. “Get outta here.”

They left, looking scared as some of their friends followed. The faces of those who looked at her seemed disapproving, yet she could see the fear in their eyes. Even if they despised her, she knew they wouldn’t do anything. Susie felt proud of her successful attempt at giving the others a warning. Though, when she brought up the incident to Lucy, she didn’t seem impressed.

“Oh gosh, Susie. No…” she replied. “Do you realize that this will only make their hateful beliefs about you true?”

“So? At least they’ll leave me alone!”

“Please, I don’t want you to end up actually terrorizing people like that.”

“But I wasn’t! They were the one who pushed me first!”

Lucy sighed. Afterwards, she didn’t talk to her for a while. Susie went along with it and the two of them stayed silent until the bell rang. Susie was about to leave when Lucy stopped her.

“Look, I need you to meet me after school. We need to talk.”

Susie could feel her heart sink to the floor as those words passed through her like a rush of wind. As the dreadful silence lingered between them, they got up silently and split up. 

As they grew further apart, Susie thought of what Lucy told her about how her actions were starting to conform to how others viewed her. What she did before was in retaliation to that other student’s action, merely just her giving them a little payback. But that feeling she got from it, the satisfaction of their pain and fear… Was it really all that disgraceful to have appreciated it? 

She raised her head to look at the student body that flowed up and down the halls. They seemed to gaze at her the way animals looked at a predator that quietly preyed at them. It was an uneasy look, mixed with the anticipation for the incoming attack. Though it was quite uncomfortable to have so many eyes on her, Susie found it surprising to see how weak the strangers around her seemed. It was almost funny how she used to feel intimidated by these students. The fact that she kind of enjoyed seeing the crowd of passing students quiver in fright at her made her feel blissfully sick. And with a smirk, she made her way down the class, feeling like a force of nature.

* * *

After another dull class, Susie lingered near Lucy’s class to meet her. Lucy was already standing outside the door, leaning against the wall. The light from the window cast a shadow over her swampy eyes. It made the graveness of the atmosphere seem heavier, resting on Susie’s shoulders. She rushed up to her, her head hanging low like she usually did. Though, she looked up for her only friend to start their conversation.

“So, what did you want to tell me?” she mumbled, the words feeling like a rock in her throat.

Lucy sighed, her eyes’ sorrowful gaze meeting with her friend’s. She got up from the wall and stood upright.

“Susie,” she told her in a clear, yet wavering tone. “I’m moving away next week.”

The words were enough to make Susie feel her soul drop. At that moment, it felt like time was frozen. All that mattered was her and her soon to be gone friend. They looked at each other, their sorrow, though not obvious from the view of an outsider, clearly reflected upon both friends. Lucy did her best to hold back tears, but it was hard for her. Though, she couldn’t help but let a single tear almost fall out before she wiped it away.

As for Susie, she didn’t cry. This situation, for her, felt a little too familiar. With the shock from when her mother died that numbed all the emotions she felt, she couldn’t show Lucy the sorrow she felt. At least, not physically. She still wished to, though, to show that she wasn’t being insensitive. Lucy went on explaining.

“I only found out yesterday.” she explained with sniffles in between sentences. “The town I’m moving to is further away from Ebott, but Dad said it had a clinic or something that specializes in people like me. But…”

She approached Susie, holding her arms out to hug her. Before she could reach her, Susie fell into her arms first. She held her tight, but also tried not to squeeze the living daylights out of her; she was notably taller than her after all. Susie buried her snout in her shoulder. She could also feel her shoulder getting lightly drizzled by her friend’s tears.

Lucy continued what she was going to say. “But… I still hope we could stay in touch, y’know.”

“ … Me too.” Susie whispered back. 

As they remained leaning against each other, Susie looked out the window at the partially cloudy sky, and down at the students trickling out the doors. She also saw her bus starting to pull into the stop. Upon seeing it, she immediately, though gently, pushed away from her friend.

“Oh shit...” she muttered, upon seeing that she was close to missing her bus. “Um… I’m sorry, but I gotta go.”

“Okay.” Lucy sniffled. “See ya…”

And with a wave, Susie rushed down the hall and practically tumbled down the stairs, the same stairs she pushed that student down. Though now, instead of feeling triumphant about it, she felt much more guilty about the incident. Perhaps it was due to her recent talk with Lucy, and how she disapproved of such violence. Though, she didn’t have time to wallow in her shame, not yet. 

Now downstairs, she dashed out the doors and onto the sidewalk, only to find that the bus was already driving away without her. As it drove out of her sight, her fists clenched hard, so much that she could feel her claws digging into her own palms. With a groan, she kicked at the cheap wire gates next to the sidewalk. After a few more hard kicks, she looked up; she could still see Lucy from the window, gazing at her with slight fear and disapproval. Feeling absolutely horrible, she rested her head on the gate beside her and wished for her frustration to go away. Though, with a life like hers, it would probably linger with her for a while.

* * *

‘And to think my suffering would really go away. I can't believe I was such an idiot back then...’

Susie wondered, laying flat on her bed. Such a memory was enough to give her a headache. She turned to the clock on her side table, which displayed the time “9:56pm”. Susie felt a little shocked at how time passed so quickly when she was just remembering stuff. 

‘I should probably go to sleep now.’ she thought, turning over to her side to stare at the wall until she eventually fell asleep.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, even though I've posted this new chapter, I'll probably post only a few more chapters, maybe only one after this, and then I'll truly be done with this fanfic. So, stay tuned!


	10. Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a fun time out with Noelle, Susie arrives at her place only to find her father there to crush her good mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: This chapter's content involves subjects of abuse. Please proceed with caution.

Three years after the incident with her mother, Susie’s life, indeed, did not improve; in fact, it continued to decline. With no one to hold her back, her thoughts of domination and being feared festered in her mind over time, reflecting in her actions. She grew more cold and vicious towards anyone else at her school. She forgot how to care about how people thought of her and learned how to seem unfazed when they stared at her with contempt or fear. At that point, with all ties with the ones who cared for her severed, she had nothing else to lose.

Though soon, things changed. After graduating middle school, Susie’s father had enrolled her in a different highschool, one that no one from her former school would go to. This didn’t faze her at all; in fact, she felt like it would make her life, perhaps, better. She could start over, make new friends, and maybe leave the whole mess of her life behind. Even better, the town was very close to that place in the forest that she visited often. 

Yet somehow, despite nobody at this new place knowing her or her past, she still managed to mess up their impression on her. Though she would have acted kindly towards these strangers, her mind was still set in danger mode, treating everyone like a potential threat to her. And even if she wanted to change, she really felt no motivation to make this change. And so, she went on with being the same bitter person she was, hating everyone and thinking they hated her as well. It wasn’t a good life, but at least it guaranteed that no one could hurt her anymore.

But now, things were different. She had started to open up to some students. Though, she only showed acceptance to Noelle and Kris, and she hasn’t even seen Kris ever since their disappearance. Noelle, on the other hand, was quite compassionate and seemed to want to help her, despite her having little understanding of what she’s going through. And though she was clueless, Susie appreciated her kindness, despite her feeling undeserving of it.

* * *

The day after Susie’s little trip down memory lane was better. Noelle had invited her to hang out after school in the city. Susie was shy to accept the offer at first, but gladly accepted it upon hearing the mention of food. The two went Halloween shopping, which was convenient for Susie; she was kind of hoping to be something other than a box for Halloween. Afterwards, the two visited a waffle cafe for a snack. 

‘Finally, some decent food.’ she thought as she scarfed down several plates of waffles, every bite feeling like heaven to her.

Once her hunger had been satisfied, the two decided to split for the day. For a while, Susie hoped that maybe today would be better, that she could go home feeling satisfied and preserve that feeling for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, somebody was waiting for her at home who would flip everything around.

Susie’s father, someone she should be trusting, had done it again. Ever since her mother’s passing, Susie’s dad had a bad habit of drinking in his spare time. Though, she seldom had to see him when he was indulging in such since he usually came home late. However, when he was home earlier by chance, his interactions with Susie would be quite awkward, and sometimes intense.

Back at her apartment, she found that her father beat her home, which she didn’t expect. He was simply sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in his hand. His yellow eyes seemed tired past the hair that obscured them; his gaze stayed fixated on the TV. Though she was shy to talk to him, Susie wanted to know if he at least saw her note. 

With reluctance, she piped up. “Hey, dad.”

Turning his head towards her, her father replied in a dull voice.

“You’re late.”

“I-I know.” she stuttered, now feeling even smaller. “I was out with a friend.”

Her dad didn’t say anything. He simply turned back to the TV. Susie, however, wasn’t done. She tried to go on.

“Um… Did you see my note on the fridge?”

“Note?” he said, still looking away.

“Yeah. It was about how there’s no more food in the fridge… Or the cupboards.”

“Really?” he snorted. “Well, I saw some meat and stuff in the freezer. And I’m pretty sure there’s some vegetables as well in the fridge. Why don’t you just make yourself something?”

Now, Susie felt a little foolish. It was true; her kitchen wasn’t completely empty. Though, the rest of the food in the house required some preparation beyond box instructions. On the other hand, the remaining pre-made food required other ingredients which she didn’t have. Additionally, Susie hadn’t been taught many recipes before, and didn’t really want to bother looking for a recipe or anything. Even if she did have one, she lacked most of the confidence to cook. And lastly, she didn’t really like vegetables.

Though, she had to at least let him know that she couldn’t prepare anything without seeming like an idiot.

“Dad? I… don’t know what to make… And I’m also missing some ingredients like milk and eggs...” 

With a sigh, her father got up, glass still in hand. He reached for his belongings, which he had placed on the table prior to Susie’s arrival. She noticed him picking up the keys, which filled her with dread.

“Fine.” her father grumbled. “I’ll get you what you want from the store, if it’ll get you to do something around here.”

Now, Susie was scared. The store he was probably referring to where they usually get their groceries was several blocks away, and it usually took a ride to get there. It was common sense not to drive while intoxicated, and she could not believe her father, someone who used to be a cautious person, would become so careless. 

“Whoa whoa whoa.” she said as he headed to the door. “Dad, wait, you probably shouldn’t be going out, not after you’ve been drinking.”

“I feel fine.” he replied with sharpness in his tone.

She knew he wasn’t, since he wasn’t this careless when he was sober. Susie pushed past him in the hallway to block the door. 

“Dad, please! Think this through!” she exclaimed, raising her hands up.

Then suddenly, her father raised his glass and chucked it quickly. A loud crash got Susie to freeze in fear, followed by a new, sharp pain in her right arm. She looked down to find shattered glass scattered across the carpet, and several scrapes on her arm. Some large gashes bled with dust and many of them stung. Though, she didn’t have time to process what just happened, since her observations were interrupted with some shouting from her dad.

“LOOK! Do you want me to leave or not?!”

Susie was trying to respond strongly, despite having the urge to cry from the pain.

“Y-you’re drunk, dad. You sh-shouldn’t be driving.”

He groaned with annoyance. “You know, we wouldn’t have this problem if you weren’t doing absolutely NOTHING around here! I’m the one who’s out working, earning money for this house. Why don’t you try doing something for once instead?!”

Although Susie felt like crying over her father’s harsh words, she could also feel his anger rubbing off of her. His words, despite feeling somewhat true, also enervated her a lot. And in a rash decision, she shot back at him.

“Don’t you see?! I CAN’T!”

Her shout was immediately silenced by a hard blow to her face. Now, her tears started to fall. Though her father was quick to hit her, he couldn’t find anything to say afterwards. It was as if she had spoken some truth as well.

“You…” he stumbled to find a comeback. “You’re 15 already, Susie.”

“B-but… You never taught me how to cook or… or to do anything really… And mom didn’t really-”

“Stop.”

He stood still, now seeming even more desolate. 

“Don’t mention her.”

The two were now silent, not knowing how to go on with this conversation. They both felt exposed for their guilts, and they both hated them. Though, now that they were being open, Susie tried to get something else from her dad.

“You probably hate me, don’t you?”

Her dad looked at her with tired eyes, though he didn’t answer. His exhaustion and sorrow was pitiful to look at, but now, he seemed a little worse. She couldn’t tell how, though; he just looked off. She went on anyway.

“I mean, if I didn’t just stand there and watch mom get killed, things might be better. And school, y-you know, how everyone hates me, too? I-I mean, what’s the use of being good at setting stuff on fire if I’m useless in everything else?”

She shivered due to the coldness she felt and the tears that made her face wet. The words she said stung, but she felt like she deserved the shame. Though, she proclaimed them with some sense of clarity, as if she felt like they were true. However, this time, her father tried to interject, denying it.

“Susie… that’s not…”

Before he could finish, he paused. His whole body tensed up, and after a few agonizing seconds, he leaned forward. With his body hunched over, he threw up on the floor. Susie flinched, the smell reeking of alcohol and take-out noodles. She backed away from the mess. Once her father was finished vomiting, he leaned against the wall. He seemed weak and dizzy. The two didn’t say or do anything for a while. Finally, Susie went over to her father, holding his hand and letting him lean against her.

Susie sighed “C’mon, just stay here. I’ll bring you to your room.”

“My office?”

“No.” she said firmly. “To bed. You’re gonna get some rest.”

He didn’t refuse anymore. And so, Susie dragged her father to his bedroom and lay him on the room’s large bed, which he occupied half of with his arms sprawled out. His body was warm to the touch and his eyelids were fighting to stay open. Susie tugged at the blanket underneath so she could tuck him in, but resorted to folding it over him when she found how difficult that was. Without a word, her father passed out. 

She let out an exasperated sigh, thinking about how he was just as hopeless as she was. It was pathetic, frankly. Though, Susie knew that unlike him, she could at least try to be better. Noelle, her friend, gave her a little of that hope today. Although the good feelings had faded after what just happened, she still looked back fondly at the kindness she showed. Hopefully, some of that would heal her brokenness. Feeling a little lighter, she left the room to go tidy up the mess that still lay outside the room.

  
  



End file.
